If Brady Skjei decides to fuck around and do this shit during the season, I’m all for it. The hope is at least 50 pts out of a guy who will most likely be paired with Jacob Trouba. Something tells me Brady is going to go off this year. He has the skill and ability to do it, shown above. His 25 points this past season was slightly underwhelming, but I’m not even close to giving up on him. The 25-year-old has a lot to prove this season.
The certified man rocket gives some love to fans whenever he can. He knows the game. He could have any girl in the tri-state area with the snap of a finger.
Yes, this exactly the content we all needed. Mika Zibanejad ripping absolute cannons into the top right corner. Puck after puck the guy doesn’t fucking miss. Mika is just coming off of a 30 goal 74 point season. The 2019 Steven McDonald Award winner might have one of the best contracts in the NHL for his production.
Mika is just so fun to watch. Now he’s got Artemi Panarin on his wing (most likely) and I see him being a PPG player this season. The excitement is real. Thank you Mika for blessing our timelines in the dog days of summer.
If it wasn’t ridiculous enough, Tampa did it again. They signed Kevin Shattenkirk, who was bought out by New York last week, to a 1 year $1.75 million contract. Hey Ottawa…fuck you. Thanks for giving the Lightning all the cap space in the world by taking Ryan Callahan off their hands for absolutely nothing. Not only does every fan in the league hate you, we all hope you never come close to a Stanley Cup again.
To be honest I really think getting swept by Columbus was a fluke and Tampa will be back. Better than ever. Like I mentioned in my last blog, I still think Kevin Shattenkirk has something left in the tank. He’s a right-handed shot, which is a rarity in today’s NHL, and is another solid veteran presence in that lineup.
It’s hockey IQ plays like this, that really scare the hell out of me, knowing he’s going to a powerhouse offense. Anyways, let’s get down to how the Tampa Bay Lightning claim just about every Ranger when their time is up in New York.
KEVIN SHATTENKIRK WITH THE BEAUTIFUL PASS TO CHRIS KREIDER, WHO SETS UP MIKA ZIBANEJAD FOR THE TAP IN!#NYRpic.twitter.com/M1dTHrvKxJ
— Hockey Daily 365 l NHL Highlights & News (@HockeyDaily365) January 16, 2019
It seems as if the 2014 Martin St. Louis trade sparked an obsession with acquiring New York Rangers players for the Lightning organization. That trade sent captain Ryan Callahan and a bundle of picks to Tampa. He would go on to sign a 6 year $34.8 million extension that offseason.
That same offseason, Anton Stralman, one of the better defenseman on the Rangers during that Stanley Cup run, became a free agent. The Lightning didn’t take long to swoop him up. Taking a stud right from our arms and signing him to a five year deal. That’s two, now former Rangers, living it up in Tampa.
As per @Real_ESPNLeBrun, Stralman deal is $22.5M over 5 years, not $20M.
Crazy to think Bob was using a fucking Blackberry when all of this happen. Moving on. After helping the Rangers get to the Stanley Cup Finals on a dominant 4th line, Brian Boyle became a free agent that summer as well. What do you fucking know. The Tampa Bay Lightning didn’t even have to find a different pen. In that same day, they signed Brian Boyle. Thats three now.
Correction: Boyle's AAV in TB is $2M, not $2.3M. Bad typing error by me. Regret the inconvenience.
A couple of years pass and everyone thought it might end, but no, Tampa wasn’t finished. Dan Girardi was bought out by the New York Rangers in 2017 and quickly claimed by the Lightning. I was never a huge fan of Girardi but still man, what the fuck. He wasn’t even that good. This is when I began to realize something was fishy about all of this.
— NBC Sports Hockey (@NBCSportsHockey) July 1, 2017
The blockbuster trade really put me over the edge with Tampa. The Rangers sent captain Ryan McDonagh and J.T. Miller to the Lightning in exchange for Vlad Namestnikov, Brett Howden and a couple of picks. It was at the last second too. It was said that, Jeff Gorton wouldn’t make the deal unless Brett Howden was included. Stevie Y loves his Rangers so much that he had to do it.
I really can’t take these acquisitions anymore. Tampa had to have the wires tapped inside MSG for the last 10 years. They know about everything that happens and they are always first to jump all over it. I’m glad they got swept though. Really glad.
Newsday – NBC Sports believes the Rangers had a good offseason, as reflected by the network’s NHL national broadcast schedule released on Tuesday.
The Rangers, who drafted Finnish wing Kaapo Kakko second overall in June then signed marquee free agent Artemi Panarin and acquired defensemen Jacob Trouba and Adam Fox of Jericho after missing the playoffs for the second straight season, will have 13 of their games broadcast by NBC or NBC Sports Network. That’s just two fewer than the defending Stanley Cup champion St. Louis Blues.
The Islanders, who advanced to the second round of the playoffs, have two games on the initial national schedule as they host the Devils on Jan. 2 and the Flyers on Feb. 11. Both games are at Barclays Center at 7 p.m. and will be broadcast by NBCSN.
HAHAHAHAH. This is absolutely amazing. Frankie Borrelli and those garbage Islanders were deemed so unappealing by NBC Sports, that they only received two nationally televised games. Hey Frankie, you might not want to read the next sentence. The New York Rangers received 13 games. They didn’t even make the playoffs! You really hate to see the Brooklyn Islanders get shamed so bad by NBC.
Nobody goes to their games and nobody wants to watch them. The Islanders are such a shit organization. 36 years and counting. I wonder when they’ll break ground on the horse stable over at Belmont.
I know this goes without saying, but it is NOT being talked about enough. I mean holy shit, it should be illegal to have this many good looking people in one organization. Let’s review.
Henrik Lundqvist
The heavens have opened. It’s him. Jesus god almighty. He’s so good looking. It’s mesmerizing. How the hell did he get picked 205th overall. I’d pick him 1st overall just for looking this good. Not only is he a 10/10, he’s a future Hall of Famer. Fuck you Borrelli.
Brady Skjei
Have you ever seen people holding up signs at games asking players to go to prom with them? Those are all for Brady Skjei. There is no doubt he has women lining up at his door by the thousands. Don’t let your girlfriend find out who wears #76.
Artemi Panarin
I’m seriously ready to build this guy a statue already. The flow is out of this world, he’s handsome as fuck, and can score at will. He also just declined more money from the Islanders. With that combo right there, they should give him the Hart Trophy already. Oh and by the way, he can also be your sugar daddy too. Artemi got PAID this summer.
Jacob Trouba
Absolutelyyyy. No brainer choice here. The lettuce is flowing for Trouba this offseason. This salad bar isn’t cheap either. $8 million per for this beauty. Even their dog knows it, look at those eyes after seeing his contract. Trouba’s girl is a rocket ship too, something that comes with being a certified man sculpture.
Brett Howden
Honestly I feel like Jeff Gorton begged Steve Yzerman to put him in the McDonagh deal just because he’s a show stopper off the ice. His law-line could cut through steel. Another guy you really need to keep the fuck away from your girl. He’s young and without a doubt single, so proceed with caution.
Chris Kreider
I really hope the Rangers reach a deal with Kreids because losing him would be a huge hit to the man rocket brigade. If that GIF doesn’t do enough for you, the guy can literally jump out of a pool. What else could you possibly ask for?
Brendan Smith
Smitty definitely makes the cut. Speaking of cut, the blood above his eye in this picture is bad ass. The slicked back hair and that ear to ear smile makes for a lethal combo. Luckily Brendan has a wife and a kid so your girlfriend is safe on this one, but he’s still without a doubt, man rocket worthy.
Libor Hajek (Sleeper)
Here’s the future of the man rocket culture within the organization. I think this kid has a real shot to be the next Brady Skjei. Let the hair grow out, comb it back, and open up the DM’s. Wont be long before every woman in New York is hitting Libor’s line.
David Quinn
The hair. The smile. The eyes. The everything. Holy fuck. Quinn makes every other coach in the league feel self conscious. You wish your teams coach was this perfect. If I was applying for a head coaching job and saw David Quinn on the list, I’d pack my shit up and leave.
Kris Knoblauch
The newest addition to the organization. Knoblauch was named head coach of the Rangers AHL affiliate Hartford Wolfpack this past week. I don’t even think he needs gel in his hair. He’s so good looking that shit molds on its own. A face like that will be sure to attract some great talent down in the farm. Great move by the Rangers.
With the 68th pick in the 2019 NHL Draft, the New York Rangers select Zac Jones. Mark my words that pick might be the steal of the draft. Yeah, the whole fucking NHL draft. Not only did he have 52 points in 56 games on the Tri-City Storm last year, he won USHL Rookie of the Year. He is going to light up college hockey at UMass Amherst next year. Cale Makar out Zac Jones in. What more could UMass ask for?
Zac Jones go to the NY Rangers. Highly skilled D who was a top player in the USHL. Going to UMass.
#NYR take UMass commit Zac Jones with the 68th overall pick. Kid has been described as a "natural hockey talent" that will run through a wall for the puck… Sounds like Carvel's kind of player.
It gets even better from there. World Juniors, you ever heard of it? Zac Jones is dominating there too. With 4 points in 6 games, Jones is leading all U19 USA defenseman in points. This is the kind of guy who has the potential to put asses in the seats. An offensive defenseman that can go coast to coast and turn the opposing goalie into a clothing rack.
Arthur Kaliyev with his second of the game makes it a 3-0 Team USA lead after 40 minutes of play. Kaliyev pounces on the rebound of a Zac Jones shot and buries it. #WJSS#LAKings#NYRpic.twitter.com/MO2pveYg93
— Stars n’ Stripes Hockey (@StarsStripesHKY) July 31, 2019
I honestly don’t know how this kid slipped to pick 68. Maybe his height? That’s the only thing I came up with. I could see some old hockey scout, who still thinks height plays a factor in the league, saying he wouldn’t draft a guy like Jones in the 3rd round. Now we wait to see if he’s the real deal. Some people might say it’s too early. I say fuck those people. Let the optimism flow. Zac Jones will have his name on the Stanley Cup.
Kevin Shattenkirk, the guy who has what is possibly the WORST luck in the NHL, was bought out by the Rangers. His buyout cap relief was the highest for this offseason at $5,166,667. The Rangers desparately need the money if they’re considering signing Chris Kreider somewhere in the ballpark of 7 years at $6-7 million per year.
here are the buyout savings structures for the usual suspects
Fuck man, I actually liked Shatty and thought he still had another year to prove his worth. He honestly got screwed considering the Rangers were sending brink trucks down Panarin’s driveway. Injuries also killed the guy. He tore his meniscus in the beginning of October, but still played until fucking January. Shatty played on one leg all season and still had 23 points in 46 games.
This past season he struggled. Saw a couple of healthy scratches and just couldn’t get into the groove. At this point you just have to feel for the guy. Played for St. Louis most of his career and they won a cup without him. Joined the Capitals for a year, they won the cup the next year. Then he comes to New York, fulfilling “a lifelong dream” of his and is bought out after two seasons. Hopefully Shatty finds luck as a UFA. I really think he will. The reality is salary cap shit really sucks because sometimes the best people end up on the shitty end of the stick.
Kevin Shattenkirk says joining #NYR "fulfills a lifelong dream" of his.
Don’t think I was going to finish this blog without talking about the ENTIRETY of New York Rangers media completely fucking up the timing of the buyout window. Larry Brooks and Rick Carpiniello, two of the biggest Rangers writers put our twitter feed into a fucking pretzel on Wednesday. I mean this was really bad.
I messed it up big-time too. Everybody did. … Thoroughly confused right now. https://t.co/GoGwpbqIbK
