I know this goes without saying, but it is NOT being talked about enough. I mean holy shit, it should be illegal to have this many good looking people in one organization. Let’s review.
Henrik Lundqvist
The heavens have opened. It’s him. Jesus god almighty. He’s so good looking. It’s mesmerizing. How the hell did he get picked 205th overall. I’d pick him 1st overall just for looking this good. Not only is he a 10/10, he’s a future Hall of Famer. Fuck you Borrelli.
Brady Skjei
Have you ever seen people holding up signs at games asking players to go to prom with them? Those are all for Brady Skjei. There is no doubt he has women lining up at his door by the thousands. Don’t let your girlfriend find out who wears #76.
Artemi Panarin
I’m seriously ready to build this guy a statue already. The flow is out of this world, he’s handsome as fuck, and can score at will. He also just declined more money from the Islanders. With that combo right there, they should give him the Hart Trophy already. Oh and by the way, he can also be your sugar daddy too. Artemi got PAID this summer.
Jacob Trouba
Absolutelyyyy. No brainer choice here. The lettuce is flowing for Trouba this offseason. This salad bar isn’t cheap either. $8 million per for this beauty. Even their dog knows it, look at those eyes after seeing his contract. Trouba’s girl is a rocket ship too, something that comes with being a certified man sculpture.
Brett Howden
Honestly I feel like Jeff Gorton begged Steve Yzerman to put him in the McDonagh deal just because he’s a show stopper off the ice. His law-line could cut through steel. Another guy you really need to keep the fuck away from your girl. He’s young and without a doubt single, so proceed with caution.
Chris Kreider
I really hope the Rangers reach a deal with Kreids because losing him would be a huge hit to the man rocket brigade. If that GIF doesn’t do enough for you, the guy can literally jump out of a pool. What else could you possibly ask for?
Brendan Smith
Smitty definitely makes the cut. Speaking of cut, the blood above his eye in this picture is bad ass. The slicked back hair and that ear to ear smile makes for a lethal combo. Luckily Brendan has a wife and a kid so your girlfriend is safe on this one, but he’s still without a doubt, man rocket worthy.
Libor Hajek (Sleeper)
Here’s the future of the man rocket culture within the organization. I think this kid has a real shot to be the next Brady Skjei. Let the hair grow out, comb it back, and open up the DM’s. Wont be long before every woman in New York is hitting Libor’s line.
David Quinn
The hair. The smile. The eyes. The everything. Holy fuck. Quinn makes every other coach in the league feel self conscious. You wish your teams coach was this perfect. If I was applying for a head coaching job and saw David Quinn on the list, I’d pack my shit up and leave.
Kris Knoblauch
The newest addition to the organization. Knoblauch was named head coach of the Rangers AHL affiliate Hartford Wolfpack this past week. I don’t even think he needs gel in his hair. He’s so good looking that shit molds on its own. A face like that will be sure to attract some great talent down in the farm. Great move by the Rangers.
Here’s your Frankie Borrelli Fun Fact of The Day
